Becoming a Father....

So on 10/14/10, I became a father.  Writing it and saying it out loud, it still seems surreal. He still didn’t even feel like mine at first.  I KNEW he was, given that I saw him emerge, but he looked like a cone-headed blue skinned smurf.  It’s a wonder more people don’t say....umm...are you sure he’s mine?  I mean, he’s blue.

Anyways, It's not until you're actually a father, someone who is entirely responsible for another person, that is sort of takes you aback.  It's daunting, knowing that for the rest of this kids life, you need to guide him every step of the way.  At the same time though, there is nothing more rewarding.  I can't remember a time when I've smiled or laughed this much.  He brings a joy to my life that is so different and yet so perfect. 

The first couple weeks are nuts.  You literally can’t even cry yourself to sleep, because there is no time for sleep.  Sleep is a distant memory, which you can barely comprehend in the stupor you’ve succumbed to.  I think I got about 12 hours of sleep the first WEEK after he was born.  My wife got even less.  How she could possibly function, I have no idea.  I hate sleeping, as I think it’s a waste of time.  I quickly changed that tune when I found out how little sleep one could get and how close I was to the borderline of what an insomniac feels like.  Insanity crept in at multiple times hoping to devour me, but somehow I survived, so I could continue to take care of my mini-me.

After about 3-4 months, things started to get much easier.  My little guy was sleeping through the night and gaining some solid weight.  He was recognizing and smiling at me all the time.  It’s interesting how nowadays, it’s so hard to bring that much joy to anyone.  You’ll never see a brighter smile than that of a baby.  It’s so pure and real....there is no way to describe it.  The laughing is even more so that way.  When your child truly laughs, it’s with his whole being and it’s amazing at how stress relieving it can be after a hard day at work.  Everything bothering you just melts away.

I have to say though, dressing a kid should be an Olympic sport.  I thought my dexterous, video gaming hand/eye coordination skills would aid me in this quest of dressing my boy, but I've never seen legs move so erratically and fast!  There's no rhyme or reason, no discernible pattern in hopes of trying to understand where the legs will show up next.  It's like two King Cobra's on speed, striking repeatedly at invisible prey.  Who knows, maybe my dexterity is helping, but I can't even fathom what it would be like if I wasn't blessed with it...let's just say it would be a massacre.....Brandon ∞, Dad ZERO.  It just seems like it would make more sense to duct tape the socks to his pants.  Problem SOLVED.

However, day in and day out, I think of our future, the games we’ll play (much to my wife’s dismay), the talks we’ll have, the jokes we’ll enact to torture others with...all these interactions just make me smile, of a future that I believe will be absolutely hilarious as I make this boy into the man I am, with some minor adjustments of course.  (I can hear the cringing and utter fear emanating from thousands of people all of a sudden...)  People say that they don’t want their kids to grow, they want to keep them in the baby stage, but I’m looking forward to enjoying each stage for what it is and what we’ll be able to do together.

I know I may sound like a sap, but you can’t really understand it until you’re a father.  That crap doesn’t bother you anymore.  There only thing that matters is your wife and children.  The rest is just smoke in a brisk wind.

Initial Thoughts

Interesting......I never saw myself as someone who would become a blogger...but recently my curiosity has gotten the better of me.  I've always loved to write, whether it be poetry, short stories, creative writing through role playing, or just random other thoughts...but I'm much more organized than this ramshackle of words thrown about.

You're probably asking....what the hell is this Jinx the Bard crap.  Well, I needed something that would fit all the needs of this blog, which is going to include creative writing, short stories, poetry, rants and raves, obsessions and so forth.  A bard is someone who could fit into any of these genres and therefore seemed to make the most sense.  There will be some sarcasm and good laughs thrown in every now and then and hopefully it will become something worth reading...but I wouldn't get your hopes up.  Being a blogger newbie, it'll take some time to learn the ropes and see how best to get the ideas flowing smoothly so as not to bore someone into suicide or so they won't hunt me down and kill me, just to stop me from writing ever again.

The time just seems right for me to start collecting my thoughts...to delve deeper into what makes me tick.  I'm much more than I let on and a lot less than what I hope to be.  Most people would find me quiet, shy and reserved.  There is a perfectly good reason for this...I'm an observer....I lay in wait, listening, waiting, checking things out, until I'm ready to make my move.  When I do....when I let you in to my world...there is no turning back...only confusion and sillyness, humor and sarcasm (overly plentiful at times), laughter and atrocities, but especially friendship.  The good news is, is that if you're reading this, more than likely, you're one of the lucky (or incredibly unlucky) few to know me.

So why did I start the blog?  To get back into writing, yes, but another reason is so my son and wife know just how completely NUTS I am.  (they already have an inkling)
So this was brief, to the point and had really nothing of substance.  Great way for me to keep people reading, good job newbie.

Stay tuned for the next installment of my thoughts, aptly named, "I'm a MONSTER".